400th

My heart shattered into multiple pieces and I don't know whether it can be mend.
I broke down and flood the entire room, with my head in my hands I sit and cry
I prayed to god to forgive my sins and also to forgive her sins too.
I prayed to god to open her heart, show her the right path so that she won't go the wrong way.
I am calm after my prayers but the heart has been shattered, and there's nothing I can do about it.

I admit my wrongdoings that I've shouldn't do, but I have to cuz I have a reason.
It's unfair to me to keep it to myself and not telling them the truth when sooner or later it will be revealed.
I understand how she feel, I know she is hurting. But we're hurting together. I'm hurt as well.
I told what I've been told and probably the way I deliver it is different that makes them judge her like that.
I hope she understand the reason why I did this. I'm not putting her down or him down either. Since it's love there's nothing I can stop it.

I am fine if she wish not to talk to me, I can't force her.
I am fine if she lost her trust to me, I can't beg her.
I am fine if she wish to drop me in her list of friends, it's her choice.
Whatever you want to do to me, it's fine cuz everything it's on her.

But forgive me, to anything that she thinks that I am at fault.
Forgive me, because this is hurting.
Forgive the rest, because they're into this as well.
All I want her is to be herself back again, and declare her pains to us so that we can delcare ours openly. Hopefully we can sort this out and understand each other's purposes and feelings.

I can't handle pressure well and I think the whole clique knows.
I want the complications to end soon but please don't drag it for too long.
Someone please stop the bad thoughts in my head, it looks as though she's letting go and if it's real, well I don't know.

It's my 400th post, I would like to dedicate it to my best friend.


Edit:
I would like to say this too,
Omma! Chincha Saranghae! Komapsumnida!
(Mum! I Really Love You! Thank You!)

"When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me." -Josh Groban (You Raised Me Up)

Seriously mother, Thank You!